Curious cyclist inquires about crushed eyewear

Dear Wankmeister:

I was pedaling behind you on the Pier Ride yesterday morning when I saw your glasses start to edge up out of your jersey pocket. Little by little they inched up until they fell out; it looked like a couple of pairs of glasses, maybe some regular eyeglasses and a pair of sunglasses? Anyway, when they hit the pavement I totally ran over them. Sorry about that!! I saw you turn around and go back. Hope there was something there to salvage. It’s really a bummer when something like that happens.

Sammy Sodbuster

Dear Sammy:

It was perfect timing, actually. Spy Optic is in the process of making me two new pairs of prescription cycling glasses: the Quantum with clear lenses and the Diablo with dark gray. I didn’t mind at all having a $450 pair of rx Oakleys bite the dust. It’s only money, right? And Oakley is so “Greg LeMond” 80’s, anyway. As of 2012 if you’re not wearing Spy, you’re a dork. As for the other glasses, they were nothing special, just a pair of prescription Throttle Gargoyles. A buddy hooked me up with the frames; all told they probably didn’t cost much over $600. Thanks also for watching them slowly inch out of my jersey pocket. That’s a pretty cool way to kill time on Vista del Mar, the South Bay’s most boring stretch of road! I’m glad you didn’t say anything to disturb me while Padraig and I were discussing strain gauges. I might have missed the part where he explained the equation that transmits the strain gauge reading to the ANT+ receptor. And don’t worry about smashing both pairs of glasses into bits. If you hadn’t destroyed them, someone else would have. Well, anyway, I look forward to seeing you on the next Pier Ride!

The Wankmeister

Dear Wankmeister:

I’ve been training since January to raise my FTP. It was about 265 at the beginning of the year (I weigh 195) and after nine months of intensive, structured workouts I’ve brought it up to about 270. For 2012 I want to increase it even more. I’m kind of a “rouleur” as you can tell from this photo. How many watts do you think I can raise my FTP with a Coggan/Hunter type program and a commitment to serious weight loss?

Wally Whacker

Dear Wally:

About three.

The Wankmeister

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