Hi, Mom — a new beginning (Part 1)

September 8, 2014 § 4 Comments

Hi, Mom

Well it is a new beginning for me at last. Like I told you this would be a breakout year for me with the Amarillo Flyers and it was. After I poddied at East Lurchford and Tonkinville and got fourth behind Higgins at the Tour de Sumpkins I caught the eye of Brad Krankewitz he is the team manager for Team Ding-a-Ling. They are a regional powerhouse in northwestern Idaho you have probably heard of them. Their sponsor is Ding-a-Ling, the electronic doorbell company that has almost a total monopoly on doorbells in northwest Idaho and they are looking to grow their market in Southern California with a first class bike team.

Mom, this probably makes you almost as happy as if I said I have a job and this is going to be one once I get my pro contract. Krankewitz wants me to move from Amarillo to Los Angeles next month so I can try out for the team by doing the winter cyclecross season there. Cyclecross or cross as it’s known is one dumb sport from what I have seen. You run around with your bike and jump over tires and jog upstairs while carrying your bike. It looks pretty easy from what I have seen on YouTube just riding around in the dirt carrying your bike which is pretty stupid. They are about to get shown up on their home turf but that’s life.

Anyway if I can get some results in cyclecross then Krankewitz will give me a pro contract for the road season in ’15 which will be my big break because you know I am not getting any younger but neither are you, ha ha! Cindy is going to be thrilled with our big move to the Big Time she’s going to be pretty darned happy for us to be moving away from behind the feedlot and smelling cowsh*t from the minute you wake up until you go to bed at night and on your laundry. She has been my rock and I think she and I have a future, mom, I care about her alot. But I wanted to tell you first because you are my mom and I love you! Also I am kind of short on cash again this month so if you could pop $150 into my account that would be great thanks and I love you!

In case Pap is negative again tell him that Team Ding-a-Ling is giving me a free bike and a place to live on the beach in Los Angeles where it’s great training and I can show the pros there what kind of stuff I’ve got. I will be opening the can on a regular basis, Pap will know what that means. Also I will get free clothing not like those cheapskates on the Flyers who aren’t pro at all and I’m still waiting for my race reimbursements from 2012. Plus Ding-a-Ling race kits look very sheik and stylish not like the Flyers with that big vulture carrying a bloody dead skunk in his claws splashed across the back of our jerseys.

Also I am working on a new nicky for the big move to the Big Time and instead of Porky like those a**h**** on the Flyers always call me I’m thinking about Blitzkrieg which goes well with my name, Billy Blitzkrieg what do you think? PS Blitzkrieg is a word I looked up on the Internet it is from World War 1 when the Germans invaded England and it means lightning war you would know about that because that was your growing up days, right? I will be opening the can and bringing the blitzkrieg to those California softies, this Texas boy will make his momma proud. PPS Dad can tell you what opening the can means.

Love you Mom (don’t forget the money),

Billy (you can call me Blitz if Blitzkrieg is too long)

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