A buddy sent me this list. The title made me laugh, and the list made me think … lots here for the cycling world, the world in general, and, ulp, me.
- Thinking that what you do or say or have is better than what others do or say or have. “Yeah, but my frame has a lower serial number.”
- Always wanting to get your way regardless of how it affects others. “My bars can fit in that quickly slamming door, and if I go down, sucks to be the guys behind me.”
- Arguing when you are not right, or, when you are, insisting stubbornly or with bad manners. “Of course those tires are 25mm, you idiot.”
- Giving your opinion without being asked for it, or when charity does not demand that you to do so. “If you want to win more races, you need to … “
- Despising the point of view of others. “Who cares what those maroons think? They’re tri-dorks.”
- Not being aware that all the gifts and qualities you have are on loan. “You know how come I won? Because I fuggin’ earned it!”
- Not acknowledging that you are unworthy of all honor or esteem, of the ground you are treading on or the things you own. “Check out these killer Fakebook photos of me on the podium! Awesome, huh?”
- Mentioning yourself as an example in conversation. “When I think about great race tactics, it reminds me of the time I attacked with three to go in the Hooterville Petit-Prix.”
- Speaking badly about yourself so that others may form a good opinion of you, or contradict you with flattery. “Aw, I’m such a maroon to have won that stage race by ten minutes.”
- Making excuses when rebuked. “My fault? The guy in front crashed me out!”
- Hiding humiliating faults from someone you depend on so that he won’t lose the good opinion he has of you. “I only have one glass of wine a day. With dinner.”
- Hearing praise with satisfaction, or being glad that others have spoken well of you. [Strikes very close to home, that one.]
- Being hurt that others are held in greater esteem than you. “She’s not that good. I beat her two years ago at the Hooterville Midi-Prix.”
- Refusing to carry out menial tasks. “Air up my tires, would you?”
- Seeking or wanting to be singled out. “Didja get a picture of me in the break? Didja?”
- Letting drop words of self-praise in conversation, or words that might show your honesty, your wit or skill, your professional prestige. “When I was awarded the Legion of Honor for saving everyone on the ship, I was so embarrassed–it’s not the kind of thing we brain surgeons train for.”
- Being ashamed of not having certain possessions. “We can’t invite them over, honey. They’d see how we really live.”
- Add your own!
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