Belgian Waffle Ride practice ride
March 5, 2015 § 40 Comments
This ride is not sponsored, authorized, approved, recognized, encouraged, abetted, aided, promoted, offered, suggested, referenced, affiliated with, created by, managed, supervised, regulated, reviewed, evaluated, or in any way, shape, method, means, form, or function related to or otherwise connected with SPY Optic and its officially endorsed Belgian Waffle Ride.
But that is not all,
Oh no, that is not all!
On Saturday, March 7, 2015 at 7:00 AM pointy sharp I’m leaving from the bricks of the Center of the Known Universe a/k/a CotKU a/k/a the Manhattan Beach Pier Starbucks in order to ride my bicycle. I will be riding my bicycle for one reason and one reason only: To prepare my spindly legs and spongy lungs for the battering that awaits on April 26, 2015, the day of the 4th Annual Belgian Waffle Ride.
This BWR practice ride of mine, which is wholly unaffiliated with the actual Belgian Waffle Ride and its sponsors, will ride from CotKU to Pacific Coast Highway and from there to The Rock, where I will pee, take in the view, and then turn around and head back towards Los Angeles.
On the way I will make a left-hand turn up Yerba Buena, and when I get to the top I will go down Mulholland Drive until it hits Pacific Coast Highway again, where I will turn left. After a little while I will make another left-hand turn, this time up Decker Lane. When I reach the intersection with Encinal I will turn right and go back to PCH.
Then I will pedal back to CotKU and from there back to Palos Verdes where I will climb another long hill. After it’s all said and done I will have ridden about 140 miles, which is a long way, and will have gone uphill a whole bunch. I will be very tired.
You can come if you want and you can ride as much or as little as you see fit, and here’s the thing: Anyone who wants to join me on this practice bicycle ride can. The same way that you can jog behind someone on the bike path, or follow someone on the freeway, or hop onto the tail-end of a bunch of wankers sliding along a cross-country ski trail, well, you can ride in my vicinity when I go ride my bike, too.
The catch? I’m not promoting the ride other than to note its existence, and I’m certainly NOT suggesting that you do it. I’m not providing protection, medical care, organization, road permits, or anything else. Why? Because it’s my own private bicycle ride that I plan to do alone. If you show up, that’s your business. It’s not a race or century ride or a Grand Fondue or a public event or a private one. It’s not an event of any kind. It’s my own personal bicycle ride.
What does this mean? It means that if you decide to leave from the same place at the same time with the same destination in mind as I, you may well die or suffer horrible, catastrophic injury. You may get hit by a car, you may fall off your bicycle and split your skull, you may have some wanker smash into you, you may slide out on a descent and get killed, you may blow a tire, bust a rim, snap a chain, crater a fork, or have any of a million other bad things happen to you.
And unfortunately, this is the risk you take when you ride a bicycle on public roads. You are trading the fun of riding your bicycle on the street for the risk of death or catastrophic injury. I’m not encouraging you to do it, to the contrary. I’m warning you about the danger and telling you that if you show up, it’s your life, it’s your safety, and it’s your responsibility to come home in one piece — not mine.
If you do decide to meet up with me, it will be good training for the BWR. I won’t be hammering, that’s for sure. And at the end of the day, although you may well get killed, you may well not. It could even turn out to be fun. Your call.
So see you on the road. Or not!
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Thank you Counselor!
A lawyer invited me on a ride once. After I signed the liability release he told me where it started.
Or something. That could be made funny by someone funnier.
I thought you were going to say that after you got creamed by a car he offered to represent you. I would.
I’m surprised you didn’t include a click-thru waiver with this non-invite Seth!
Wankers don’t read waivers!
Do you need a hand up of red wine?
“Need”? No. “Want”? Sure.
Wish I lived down South so I could ride in your vicinity on the same roads at the same time
You had better write your name in your spandex/lycra undies so we can identify the remains. But it does sound like fun!
Mine will be the ones with The Telltale Shart, by Edgar Allan Poo.
Now that’s funny! Wish I could be there to ride that non-preparatory non-BWR 140 miles festival of hurt.
Man you’re sounding like an attorney!
I fuggin’ hate it when that happens!
What happened to Deer Creek?
Reality, that’s what happened!
that sounds like a great ride, theoretically speaking
It’s the Belgian Waffle Waiver Ride.
You take all the fun out off living in California, why else would someone uproot there life and move half the way around the world if the can’t dissolve themselves of all personal responsibility?!? #SethTheKilljoy
If there’s fun I will assassinate it without mercy.
I bet you probably pull the legs of flys too!?!
I used to, but I’m too old and slow to catch them now.
Best written release I’ve seen in 26 years of law practice.
Just need to change the title of the ride to Belgian Waffle Waiver Ride.
+1 Sounds like a wiener!
Independent coincident rides. Sadly, its how we roll, or not, after the Oregon SC said broad liability waivers are unconscionable. Liability waivers may be enough for the organizer who still owes money on his bike.
I still owe money on mine!
Overall this ride should produce plenty of displeasure and the need to lay in bed for 36 hours of post ride incoherent mumblings.
If so, it will begin to slightly approximate the BWR itself.
As I live in San Diego, I will choose to ride up Nate Harrison and down Black Canyon, as MMX did. Because if I ride the same roads as he, I must be as strong as he. I learned all my logic from Sir Bedivere.
“Practice” lmao. See you there.
Aha. Another individual planning to individually ride on the roads and independently assume the risks thereof while waiving the liability of everyone buy himself.
So, if/when I get dropped/lost that’s a left, right, left, left, right, left?
Actually, the secret shortcut is Up, Up, Down, Down, Left, Right, Left, Right, B, A, Start
No…B, A, B, A, SELECT, START (CONTRA, right???)
Ha ha ha!