Alky bikey lessons

I’m not a day or a week or a month counter. All I know is that I quit back in November. That’s an eternity for some, an eye blink for others. Here is what I’ve learned so far.

  1. I don’t know.
  2. If one day at a time is too long, you better make it one hour, or even one moment.
  3. I’m not powerless over alcohol.
  4. Life without beer is less fun but more happy.
  5. *Still an asshole.* Or, “You’re still the same old girl you used to be.”
  6. I imagine beer tasting better than it does in fact taste.
  7. Sobriety isn’t a solution, it’s a step that makes other solutions possible.
  8. Tomorrow I’m getting hammered, but not today!
  9. I can’t do it without the support, but in the end I’m alone.
  10. Different people take different paths, and mine doesn’t lead to a higher power.
  11. Sober friends who have been through the wringer are there when I need them most.
  12. I like it when people ask me if I’m still sober.
  13. Driving at night is legal.
  14. It’s not that hard to do the dishes.
  15. If I’m 100% sober, I can’t be 100% at anything else, and that’s okay.
  16. A bunch of tiny improvements make the big picture better.
  17. After 5:00 PM the words on the page don’t start to blur.
  18. Newton’s Third Law of Motion applies to drinking: The misery of watching others drink causes an equal and opposition degree of happiness at awaking without a hangover.
  19. You can do it.
  20. We all die anyway, so enjoy the journey if you can.END


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38 thoughts on “Alky bikey lessons”

    1. yes, you can do it
      in fact many others who could not, do find that they also can do it
      keep it up!

  1. I love the Wanker Steps. My darkest hours have been at the bottom of a bottle. When my oncologist, Dr. Louis Vandermolen, told me I had three terminal diseases: breast cancer; multiple myeloma; and alcoholism, he said the third was killing me first. He said, ” your liver is done”! Your enzymes are off the fucking scale. You have six months to live, maybe, and you need to get sober and get your affairs in order. You have a daughter. WTF, that made me drink more. High-dose chemo and bone marrow transplants with hangovers maybe is the only way I could get through it. Maybe I was pickled?

    Why didn’t I die? I got sober, cancer went in remission, I started cycling! Cancer now out of remission, as of March, 2013.

    I refuse to go back for blood work. I don’t care what the doctors say anymore. As long as I do not drink today, and maybe ride my bike — well that is what I have to step about Wanker Step 20.

    Thank you, Seth, for reminding me that I am a success today if I don’t drink. And some days, the best I can do is be sober, and that is fucking grand!

    1. I thought this story sounded familiar. Best thing about sobriety is the people it put in my life. 🙂

  2. It is noble to better one’s self. Often times extremely difficult.

    Keep up the good work!

    (No snarky, self deprecating reply please. This is true and you are doing a fantastic job. Accept it beeaaahhhtch.)

  3. AI from Chesco, Pa

    Good man and well said. I respect, listen and follow the Dalai Lama who said “When we meet real tragedy in life, we can react in two ways–either by losing hope and falling into self-destructive habits, or by using the challenge to find our inner strength.” You have found yours. Be well amigo. We have your back.

  4. Tom Paterson

    Well, what can I say, real cowboys kiss the horse and not the girl, but here I go getting all mushy & preachy anyhow: there are “steps” out there not included in your excellent list, above.
    Offered only so you can say “You told me so” from time to time in the years to come– because yes, the asshole in me abides, as well, and as a matter of fact, we’ve become pretty good amigos here on the Trail of Life. And the horse, too. Clippity-clop, clippity-clop…

  5. Yeah, yeah, yeah! I still miss the Beer, Bread and Butter program. All I know is that it seems a long time ago now!

  6. “I can’t do it without the support, but in the end I’m alone.”
    Terrifying and yet it may be the greatest truth out there.

  7. And now you can make ANOTHER mistake and probably get away with. As you’ve taught me, it’s usually not one misstep but two that collide that cause great “crashes”.

    For what it’s worth, I’m proud of you! And happy that I get to have you around even longer, to have crazy adventures with.

      1. 8 mins late to the start. I rode it solo and had a zen moment in the middle where major life issues were resolved. I was pissed I messed up my team but I was happy and peaceful in the end. This is why I torture myself on the bike. 🙂

  8. Nice seeing you today. You look awesome; fit and lean, bright eyed and bushy tailed.

  9. channel_zero

    IWe all die anyway, so enjoy the journey if you can.

    I would say to you this is a half-assed way to lead life.

    It is not enough to fumble through life. You must live passionately. Every day. Every waking moment.

    This was spoken by a great teacher and retold by one of his young students at his funeral. Another one of his students retold a story about him complaining bitterly (not kidding) about the student “walking as if the student were going to milk the goats.” The teacher was entirely human, not perfect at all. As we all are.

    I feel like I fumbled through life until meeting my child’s teacher.

    Keep washing those dishes. Every night. With passion. Even when you don’t feel like smiling, do it with passion. You have the work ethic, you are a cyclist. There is meaning in the act of washing those dishes.

  10. I suppose giving up all those alky calories makes the diet a whole lot easier. I’m just not there yet …

    1. The alky calories aren’t the problem. It’s the double cheeseburgers that wash down the beer.

      Another tip–losing weight sober is just as hard and miserable and pointless as losing it drunk, with the disadvantage that you don’t get to drink and diet at the same time.

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