Snake and scorpion festival

I hope you sign up for the Vlees Huis road race that takes place in Bakersfield this Saturday, even though none of us can pronounce it.

Here is the sign-up link. Just do it.

Why should you do this race?

  1. If you win you get a meat cleaver trophy. The only thing cooler would be a piece of pave. Or maybe a severed head.
  2. My law firm is offering $1,000 in road primes, $100 each, with primes in almost every category. You can be “one and done” and still go home with cash in your pocket.
  3. It is a hard and hilly road race. Crits are fine, but every once in a while you owe it to yourself to show up and get humiliated, sent home with your tail between your legs, smacked around, ridden into the ground. Why? Because you’re a road racer, not a track racer.
  4. Your participation is crucial to the race’s continuity. My club, Big Orange, has 50% more race entries this year than any other club. Imagine how vibrant the racing scene would be if every club provided similar levels of cannon fodder. This means you.
  5. The race is in Bakersfield, a port-o-potty of a town filled with rednecks, pickups, and guns. Oops! Triple redundancy. Anyway, the Bakersfieldians need to be exposed to bicycle culture somewhere besides the hood of their F-350 diesel.
  6. Simply finishing will be a huge accomplishment. What else are you going to accomplish this weekend? Another group ride where everyone gets to declare himself the winner? A PR on Strava?
  7. The promoter, Sam Ames, puts on the very best events. This one comes with free Belgian fries and a free beer to everyone of drinking age who shows up, racer or spectator.
  8. The course has little traffic and the road is in very good condition. Mostly.
  9. There’s a 4-corner CBR crit on Sunday in Compton if you simply must get your industrial park fix for the weekend.
  10. You’ll be part of the solution, not part of the social media chorus who complains about the lack of good races but is somehow always busy on “that” weekend.

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18 thoughts on “Snake and scorpion festival”

  1. Damnit!

    You’ve already sent me slaughter 3 times.

    Shame on you.

    How about a pack fodder preme, does it always have to go to “that guy”?

    1. I’m not in charge of prime distribution. Maybe a DFL prime? First wanker to quit prime?

      1. think of the drama… $ to 10th place… should i stay or should i go… see you up there.

  2. the_basque_among_us

    Hey, c’mon now. Bakersfield has the Buck Owens museum at the crystal palace. Bakersfield is also known for Basque food.

      1. the_basque_among_us

        With oil wells… and smog like 1960’s Los Angeles… Let’s hope the wind is blowing.

        Why do you hate America?

  3. Anybody from SanD heading up?
    I haven’t had a good dose of humiliation since last weekend

  4. Sam puts on awesome events, I staid at the 4 points which I can recommend, when I rode the rock cobbler last month, which I can also recommend as the absolutely the hardest race you will ever do.

  5. Hey, don’t bash Bako. I own a thousand or so rental units there. Then again, my tenant base does resemble your remarks. Word to the wise for those that imbide, The Padre Hotel downtown.

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