Snake and scorpion festival
March 3, 2016 § 18 Comments
I hope you sign up for the Vlees Huis road race that takes place in Bakersfield this Saturday, even though none of us can pronounce it.
Here is the sign-up link. Just do it.
Why should you do this race?
- If you win you get a meat cleaver trophy. The only thing cooler would be a piece of pave. Or maybe a severed head.
- My law firm is offering $1,000 in road primes, $100 each, with primes in almost every category. You can be “one and done” and still go home with cash in your pocket.
- It is a hard and hilly road race. Crits are fine, but every once in a while you owe it to yourself to show up and get humiliated, sent home with your tail between your legs, smacked around, ridden into the ground. Why? Because you’re a road racer, not a track racer.
- Your participation is crucial to the race’s continuity. My club, Big Orange, has 50% more race entries this year than any other club. Imagine how vibrant the racing scene would be if every club provided similar levels of cannon fodder. This means you.
- The race is in Bakersfield, a port-o-potty of a town filled with rednecks, pickups, and guns. Oops! Triple redundancy. Anyway, the Bakersfieldians need to be exposed to bicycle culture somewhere besides the hood of their F-350 diesel.
- Simply finishing will be a huge accomplishment. What else are you going to accomplish this weekend? Another group ride where everyone gets to declare himself the winner? A PR on Strava?
- The promoter, Sam Ames, puts on the very best events. This one comes with free Belgian fries and a free beer to everyone of drinking age who shows up, racer or spectator.
- The course has little traffic and the road is in very good condition. Mostly.
- There’s a 4-corner CBR crit on Sunday in Compton if you simply must get your industrial park fix for the weekend.
- You’ll be part of the solution, not part of the social media chorus who complains about the lack of good races but is somehow always busy on “that” weekend.
For $2.99 per month you can subscribe to this blog and come enjoy the snakes and scorpions in the desert. Click here and select the “subscribe” link in the upper right-hand corner. Thank you!
Cant wait to read all about it! Good racing!
I can’t wait to quit and make some stuff up.
got any suggestions for the least meth-y place to stay the night before?
Many hotels/motels in Bako … there’s a nice one just off the freeway.
You’ve already sent me slaughter 3 times.
Shame on you.
How about a pack fodder preme, does it always have to go to “that guy”?
I’m not in charge of prime distribution. Maybe a DFL prime? First wanker to quit prime?
think of the drama… $ to 10th place… should i stay or should i go… see you up there.
Great idea, actually … pack meat primes.
Hey, c’mon now. Bakersfield has the Buck Owens museum at the crystal palace. Bakersfield is also known for Basque food.
Bakersfield is a garden spot. A cactus garden.
With oil wells… and smog like 1960’s Los Angeles… Let’s hope the wind is blowing.
Why do you hate America?
Because I was born in New Jersey.
Anybody from SanD heading up?
I haven’t had a good dose of humiliation since last weekend
Seven days go by and you start wishing for more awful humiliation.
Sam puts on awesome events, I staid at the 4 points which I can recommend, when I rode the rock cobbler last month, which I can also recommend as the absolutely the hardest race you will ever do.
The hardest race I’ll never do!
Hey, don’t bash Bako. I own a thousand or so rental units there. Then again, my tenant base does resemble your remarks. Word to the wise for those that imbide, The Padre Hotel downtown.
You can’t bash Bako. It’s implicit.