The new performance bicycle

A long, long time ago back in March if you’d said that you wanted to buy the most high-tech, high-performance bike out there, I would have advised as follows:

  1. Full carbon
  2. 100% carbon
  3. Aero carbon

No more.

Although carbon is still the material of choice for those who want to go fast, or more importantly look fast, or most importantly, talk fast, it is no longer the first requirement for a high performance bicycle simply because you can’t look fast and aero and pro while you’re dead.

The new high performance bike must have:

  1. Diablo or equivalent headlight with max 1,200-1,500 lumens for continual day/night operation.
  2. Lezyne or equivalent rear taillight with max 100 lumens for continual day/night operation.
  3. Front-facing video camera with spare batteries for swap-out during ride.
  4. Rear-facing video camera with continual 6-hour loop.
  5. Strava/Garmin data to record speeds/stops of the entire ride.

Of course if you’re fine being dead (and certain religious sects maintain that this is actually a preferable state of affairs), all you need is carbon.

Carry on.

END

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33 thoughts on “The new performance bicycle”

      1. i just purchased the Fly12 from merlincycles.com for $263 delivered. a huge savings

      1. I’ll keep the Diablo. And I don’t mind about the Vespa look. I can remove it all on race day.

  1. although if you’re dead, ultimately, all you will be is carbon…..

    1. Well, someday you will die somehow, and
      Something’s going to steal your carbon.

      – Parting of the Sensory, Modest Mouse

  2. Pink Pant her

    I will have you know that Cannondale proudly makes the finest alloy racing bikes. The Caad 12 is the bike of choice for the Cyclance/Incycle/Cannondale Men’s Pro Cycling Team, which has been stomping the penises and surrounding parts into the dirt this season on the So Cal Crit scene (Telo excluded).

    1. It no longer matters if they’re not running airplane landing lights and Hollywood camera rigs.

    1. I’d hope so. Objectivity and independence around here will get you blocked, banned, and pilloried.

  3. All of these may help. But you forgot to mention the cyclist autopsy prevention course, aka CyclingSavvy.

  4. At the expense of possibly being mistaken for a traffic cone, wear bright fluorescent outfit, or socks.

    1. I have the lights and have been using them for a couple of years now, but don’t have the cameras yet. I’ll update the post once the cameras arrive.

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