Grandbaby biker

My grandbaby is a complicated person but simple.

He is seven months old now and is happy when he is around his family. When he’s hungry he gets grouchy and howls for his pai-pai. Mom sticks the pai-pai in his mouth and he sucks it for a while. Sometimes he goes to sleep with the pai-pai stuck in his mouth. Sometimes he drinks from the pai-pai and then fiddles with it. Regardless, after a session of pai-pai he’s always in a good mood. Grandbaby bikers know that when you’re cranky you should eat.

When he’s doing his main business, which is exploring, he likes having his dad around. His dad will crawl around on all fours behind him so that when he looks back, there’s dad. Or his dad will crawl behind a door or around a corner and disappear. Then his dad will reappear, usually with “peek-a-boo” and a smile. My grandbaby finds this magical and funny and surprising every time. Grandbaby bikers know that everything is more fun when you’re with a pal.

In the middle of the day or maybe in the evening after he has crawled around for hours and hours and hours my grandbaby will get a bath. He loves baths. His mom or Grandma or dad will get into the bathtub with him and they will soap and splash. The water is interesting and very friendly. Grandbaby bikers always avoid being dirty and dehydrated with lots of water and a rubber yellow duck.

Most times he gets his day started with a big poop, like any grandbaby biker. He likes to poop and isn’t particular about where or when or who he’s with. The people around him are somewhat more particular, especially when they’re in the bathtub. No one likes a big evacuation of grandbaby poop while they’re in the tub except grandbaby. It’s exciting to watch the big people jump around and holler. It’s a kind of grandbaby biker attack.

His uncle is a giant, many stories tall, and my grandbaby loves his uncle. Being with his uncle is the best because his uncle will scoop him up for no reason at all and carry him off into his room at exactly the time that all the other members in the family peloton are exhausted and worn out like an old shoe. In the uncle’s room it stinks of boy and my grandbaby instinctively knows the stink of boy and he likes it. His uncle’s floor is cluttered with many interesting things and his uncle never cares if he puts them in his mouth, which he does, including socks of a certain date.

Grandma is happy and soft and very good with mushed banana. Every grandbaby biker knows that banana, after pai-pai, is the best energy food out there. Grandma’s banana hand-ups are the best and come with big smiles.

My grandbaby also likes me. I know this because he smiles at me and gets excited when I sing this little song that I made just for him:

Rin-chan got up in the morning,
He put on his shirt and he put on his pants.
He got his little shovel and he went outside,
And he dug some bugs and he dug some ants.
And the kitty went “Mew!”
And the kitty went “Mew!”
The kitty went “Mew, mew, mew!”
Mew! Mew!

No matter how many times I sing this song, my grandbaby never gets tired of it, like going downhill on a smooth road.


9 thoughts on “Grandbaby biker”

  1. Serge Issakov

    The hallmark of genius creativity is that the creator can be identified by the creation. A Rembrandt or a Picasso is obviously that. You can tell Mozart when you hear it even if it’s the first time. Writing is no exception. You can usually identify Shakespeare or Steinbeck in one passage.

    In the history of the world there is only one human who could have written this piece. The Master Wanker.

  2. Very nice Fsethd, I have a baby biker myself he is only 2 weeks old and is the best ever happened to me, he will be an Olympian…

  3. I suspect that your Father’s Day tomorrow will be so good that you will be calling it grand.

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