Pure as West Virginia snow

August 17, 2016 § 32 Comments

Do you watch the Olamepics? You should be ashamed.

Or ignorant. You should be willfully ignorant.

Or in pharma sales. You should be in pharma sales.

A relative asked me if I thought anyone in the Olympics was clean. “Sure,” I said. “The lifeguard probably is.”

I can’t even get out of bed without a cup of coffee that’s strong enough to jump-start a Boeing. And you’re telling me that some dude won 28 Olympic medals clean?

Fairy tales are nice, but when there’s a huge disclaimer on the front of the book that says, “THIS FAIRY TALE HAS NO BASIS IN REALITY” and you keep citing it as the linchpin for your scientific evidence that climate change is a hoax or that Noah really did build an ark with two of everything, including all of the antibiotic-resistant bacteria that hadn’t even evolved yet, I’m going to politely refer you to a psychiatrist.

In this case, the disclaimer was the admission that everyone in Russia doped, including the cleaning lady. If you were a Russian Olympian, you doped. And then, instead of booting out the whole rotten bunch, the IOC punted and let the federations decide because it would take too much courage to publicly admit what had already been publicly admitted. And we wonder why governments can’t ‘fess up to the use of chlorine gas in Syria against children? That icky old yucky truth.

The decision to let the cheaters in actually makes sense because why should we pick on the Russians when Team USA’s star track cycling Olympian tested positive less than a year ago? As punishment for his positive test he’s going to have to ride in the Olympics and maybe get a gold medal.

Or just gazing at the teenage U.S. gymnasts who have the muscular development of a 25-year-old man … that was all done pan y agua, for sure. Con esteroides.

Sports have transcended politics and become a race for human performance with no ethical or health obstacles in between. Whatever gets you to jump higher, or just gets you higher, is legit because all of the people who complain about doping are glued to their TVs transfixed by performances that are as real as pro wrestling.

Each one of those viewers is a tiny tick in a giant algorithm that says the beer and Visa ads are working. So watch away, but I’ll pass. I prefer to watch my drug cheats at the local masters crit. At least that way I can be sure that the dopers aren’t getting rich.



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§ 32 Responses to Pure as West Virginia snow

  • dangerstu says:

    At the end of the day it’s just reality TV…

  • vcscribe says:

    The Yo-limpics jumped the shark decades ago.

  • channel_zero says:


    WADA hires a competent anti-doping investigator and then no one at the IOC is interested in competent work being accomplished. Even Mr. Pound got dirty this time.

    Problem #1 is the IOC still wants to pretend they are all clean-ish well-run sports. Call it what it is, scripted entertainment that makes much more money than the WWE.

    Problem #2 is we are pushing kids through the IOC’s doping-is-okay-just-attract-an-audience system. The IOC is not alone. NCAA would certainly have doping/corruption scandals if it weren’t so politically popular.

  • Midland says:

    I feel the Olympics has been a Corporate shit show for years. Am under no illusions athlete’s are “clean”. And now I will hypocritically watch BMX. haha

  • Winemaker says:

    Climate change is not a hoax…the climate has changed for eons, up down, sideways around….the sputum that humans have a measurable impact on climate change is the hoax. Of course, if your electric bill is over $1200 a month and you fire up the West Virginia Coal Fed local power company like a certain ex-presidential candidate from Tennessee does, you gots to say sumpin.
    Dopers dope, Cheates cheat….the ones who crow loudest are usually the guiltiest….

    • fsethd says:

      Science and Nature are hoax magazines. Uh, okay.

      • Winemaker says:

        Yes, in fact, the articles in these mags that ascribe climate change to HUMAN activity are groundless, and have been proven so. For example, there is an article published by “About News” and cited in Science that states that the yearly annual production of CO2 by Automotive (including trucks) and industrial activities is 24 billion tons. That would pencil out to 4000 pounds of CO2 per person on earth…now….really?…and I won’t go into the data published by HuffPo and others….gots to get your science right, dude! Kinda like blindly believing the IOC or the UCI…….maybe you gotta trust, but you certainly gotta verify!

        • fsethd says:

          Please cite me to a study that you disagree with and we’ll discuss it. “There is an article published … ” is meaningless jibber-jabber. When you say “the articles in these mags are groundless,” wiping away every peer-reviewed study ever published on the subject without analyzing a single one, you show yourself to be uninformed, lazy, and unwilling to engage in a rigorous debate. Which is all okay, by the way, but it carries no more significance or weight than saying, “Science is a hoax” etc.

    • shano92107 says:

      I would encourage winemaker to drive the 15 southbound via Cajon Pass into beautiful San Bernardino on any hot summer afternoon. If you cannot see direct visible evidence of human impact in the form of a massive shit cloud of car farts laying on the valley like fog… well I’m not sure what that means but keeping drinking the wine and everything will be just fine

      • fsethd says:

        First it was deny climate change. Then it was deny human causation. Now it is “Not my problem.” Except, it is. Our current geologic is called the Anthropocene. By scientists. For a reason. Unless that’s a hoax, too.

      • Winemaker says:

        I grew up in LA….in the 60’s and 70’s…and there is no need to revert to insults….

        • fsethd says:

          It’s insulting when you describe an entire body of science as a “hoax.” You insinuate that everyone who has a different viewpoint is the victim of a conspiracy and too stupid to know it. There are lots of ways to insult people without calling them names, and calling anthropomorphic science a hoax is a great first step.

    • LesB says:

      Oh, there is a hoax alright. The hoax is the unqualified people denying what the scientists are saying. The denial has been the big hoax along.

  • shano92107 says:

    glad to read I’m not the only weirdo that doesnt watch the boob tube. Ditched my tv when i moved, no regrets.

  • Woody Foster says:

    If you got all upitty about everything you read in the newspaper, watched on TV, saw on the Internet, or read in a blog you’d have a pretty miserable life. Just treat it as good ol’ fashioned entertainment, watch if it makes you happy, if it doesn’t then turn it off, change the channel or read a book. Who said entertainment has to be based in fact and truth? Watch and and make up your own mind.
    If you’re entertained why not keep watching? Just don’t go and try to tell others that what you saw was “fact”. The only “fact” is that if it’s entertainment it’s probably bull$%it.

    • shano92107 says:

      I can only speak for myself when I say there are a lot more mentally stimulating activities one can do with their time than staring at a TV. Books are the first thing that come to mind, old fashioned and unpopular but the batteries don’t go dead and expired warranty is rarely a problem. And of course CitSB always provides food for thought and fine reading material for the mandatory morning constitutional 🙂

    • fsethd says:

      This almost seems rhetorical.

  • Winemaker says:

    Oh, Wanky, you really must be careful about your quotation marks…only to be used when someone actually said exactly what you put in the quotes….like, as in …well…quoting somebody!

  • Winemaker says:

    ….and I was talking about personal insults, such as my supposed drunken state and presumed wine consumption, not differences of opinion, which, if you are insulted by, seems a bit thin-skinned, eh?

    • fsethd says:

      Drunkenness isn’t necessarily a bar to good argument, and it certainly isn’t a bar to great writing. Faulkner and Hemingway were notorious drunks. But you can’t have it both ways. It’s not a difference of opinion when you label anthropomorphic-induced climate change a hoax. In order for it to be a hoax, those of us who subscribe to it are by definition stupid, hoodwinked people, the more so now that you’ve told us that it’s a hoax.

      I interpreted your statement as a jab, and I responded, hopefully not doing any significant damage to your tough exterior. Others will have to defend their word choice as they will … if it gets too ugly or personal I’ll delete.

  • Derek says:

    “I prefer to watch my drug cheats at the local masters crit. At least that way I can be sure that the dopers aren’t getting rich.”

    Yeah except now someone has started showing up and throwing out a bunch of prime money at the local races….


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