Mr. Anonymous loses again

On Wednesday, Garrett Unno of Raytheon sought to get the Palos Verdes Estates Traffic Safety Committee to add removal of the “3-Feet It’s The Law” signs they recently installed as one of the city council’s new agenda items. Garrett, his wife Zoe who appears to work in the Engineering Library at USC, Cynthia Bianchi, Frank Ponce, and Shannon Zaragoza have all opposed the installation of BMUFL signage in PVE over the recommendations of the city’s traffic engineer, the city’s traffic safety committee, and the city’s outside consultant.

When the city council voted not to install the BMUFL signs, Unno and some of his like-minded residents thought the time was ripe to get the 3-Feet signs taken down.


When the cyclist gang that has been terrorizing PVE by begging for signage that will make the city safer for vulnerable road users showed up to speak at the TSC meeting, they were pleasantly surprised to hear the squishing sound of the committee as it ground a boot heel on Unno’s absurd and evil attempt to have the signs removed.

You can hear the incredible concatenation of nonsense here, starting at about 54:07, when, after the somewhat baffled TSC takes up this silly proposal, Camp Unno begins to immortalize its stupidity on livestreaming video. Even more priceless is the “reading” of the Unno Manifesto. All I can say is that I hope we’re not sending up anything of value on the rockets designed by this guy.

What was most fascinating, though, was that Unno himself and his wife Zoe were absent, as were the other people who have been stalwarts in the fight to keep PVE from installing BMUFL signs that cyclists and studies argue make the roads safer for vulnerable road users. Instead, someone read Garrett’s prepared remarks, to which inquiring minds asked, “To hell with Waldo! Where was Unno?”

Well, one thought is that Garrett Unno’s employer, Raytheon was none too pleased by his attempts to shoot down BMUFL signage. Why? Because Raytheon sponsors a massive support ride–that’s on bicycles, folks–for wounded service women and servicemen.

I can almost hear the conversation now. “Excuse me, Mr. Vice-President Stumpkins, you know that engineer over in cubicle No. 2,333,018?”


“Dude who eats lunch by himself all the time and doesn’t talk to anyone?”


“Unno. Like the card game with a misspelling.”

“Oh, that guy. ‘Scowler’ I’ve heard him called. Yeah. What about him?”

“Can you believe that after all the time and money we pour into the veterans’ support bike ride, that fucker is out telling the city of Palos Verdes Estates to take down 3-feet-it’s-the-law signs.”

“What? The bike signs?”

“Yep. And get this. He and some other whackadoodles have consistently opposed installation of those Bikes May Use Full Lane signs that protect cyclists.”

“You are fucking kidding me.”

“I’m not.”

“We’re spending all this fucking time and money to help wounded veterans by encouraging cycling and that sonofabitch is trying to remove bike safety signage? For fuck’s sake. Get that bastard into my office.”

“Yes, sir.”

So it’s my wild guess that as word spreads at Raytheon that Garrett Unno’s contribution to the wounded warriors project consists of opposing signage that will prevent people from getting wounded, he is starting to feel some of the consequences of his convictions–convictions that are probably wilting as I write. Same for his wife Zoe. How does someone who works at bike-friendly USC, surrounded by students on bicycles, and in the engineering department no less, explain herself as an opponent of BMUFL and 3-Feet-It’s-The-Law signage?

Answer: Feebly.

And of course PVE’s advocate for the Lunada Bay Boys, Coldwell-Banker’s Mr. Frank Ponce, is likely fielding a phone call or two from people who have heard he’s a residential realtor who opposes bike signage. Yeah … that’s gotta be good for business. “Come live in beautiful Palos Verdes Estates and get run over.” Sounds like a winning tag line to me.

But none of these gnats really matter. They are already sagging under the glare of public perception and will soon go back to what they do best, which is fuming on antisocial media. Saddest of all is Mr. Anonymous, the fellow who makes videos, maintains hate web sites, and spams recipients with hate mail. He’s now lost 3 out of 4 contests and is about to lose the BMUFL signage issue as well, which will make it four out of four. Cycling advocates, er, bicycle gangsters, have only just gotten their motors, er, pedals, revved up for signage, whereas the mouthpieces of Mr. Anonymous are dropping like flies.

And this of course is the curse of every anonymous troll. When there are no more real humans to take the positions they feed their surrogates, they quickly find that “anonymous” doesn’t get them air time at the meetings where the decisions get made. And they can’t suddenly take ownership of all their spew because it’s impossible to defend the indefensible. So that leaves them alone.

At home.

In front of their keyboard.

And ignored.




16 thoughts on “Mr. Anonymous loses again”

    1. Poor Mr. Anonymous! If only people knew who he was, they’d know how important he was.

      Darn it. One day he’ll figure out how to have that big old piece of anti-BMUFL cake and eat it, too.

  1. What was most fascinating, though, was that Unno himself and his wife Zoe were absent, as were the other people who have been stalwarts in the fight

    This is common. I genuinely don’t understand it.

  2. The dude reading for Unno was so bummed. He had likely found the perfect balance point for his Bud Light, resting gently on his belly, laid out perfectly on the couch while he was watching cartoons. The chips, too, were well within his wingspan, allowing him access to chips without upsetting the liquids resting on his tummy. The phone call from Mr. Unno came at the worst time possible, but he knew there was no turning down Unno.

    The whole time he’s reading, you can tell he’s preoccupied with the challenge of getting that warm, half-full can of bud light back on his stomach.

  3. I retired a few years ago from Raytheon after almost 34 years of service. Raytheon works very hard to keep a good image with the community. Most all the employees are stock holders and as such they want the company to look good so the stock value can go up. Also when you start work for the company you sign paper work that states if you say anything about the company in public or make any comments in public related to work they are involved in without authorization it is grounds for dismissal. I know you wrote this article as entertainment but you are not very far off from reality. Over the years I learned of many persons that were terminated due to their public behavior being deemed not to put the company in the best light. There are many Raytheon managers that live in PVE. I am sure some of these are cyclists. In my opinion Mr. Unnos actions are not helping his career.

    1. That’s not surprising. What company wants employees who oppose bike signage? Jabba the Hut, Inc.?

  4. It was hard to listen to that poor Bay boys attempt to read that nonsense. But bless his little heart he stayed relatively sober and went for it. And it’s sad to think that that is the type of person Unno and Ponce so desperately try to suck up to. Its comforting to me, as a cyclist (mountain biker) that that is the level of opposition to safety measures around this hill. People against this signage are only backed up by misinformation.

    1. It’s like the scraped the bottom of the barrel for surrogates, then broke the bottom of the barrel off and kept digging until they hit the sewer lines.

      1. As far as the barrel of monkeys that the bay boyz are that kook reading that Unno drivel was taken from the top, their choicest selection. “Gabby”, albeit at a 2nd grade level, can read and that makes him the cream of the crap out of that bunch.

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