Super depressing news about Tour of Turkey
February 15, 2017 § 16 Comments
I have been unable to sleep at night lately, that’s how upset I am at the postponement of the Tour of Turkey. In its first year as a ProTour event, this incredible bike race is incredibly having incredible difficulty attracting top teams. Only one ProTour team has agreed to race the event, the little-known Norwegian outfit Rumpe Ansikt, with the rest of the teams as follows, none of which is on the ProTour:
- Pullea Pyöräilijä (Finland)
- Team Ultimul Loc (Rumania)
- Equipe Csalók (Hungary)
- команда хакеров (Russia)
- 암살자 (North Korea)
- Team Narcotrafico (Venezuela)
- Team Elektromotor (Belgium, DS Ryder Hesjedal)
Anyway, it’s really a shame that the heavy hitters on the ProTour haven’t signed up for this race, just because its April date conflicts with Liège-Bastogne-Liège. What legitimate pro would rather win a race called “The Queen of the Classics” than, say, the stage from Aksaray to Konya?
But what really kills me is that this is another attempt by foreign influences seeking to destroy the country (read: Fethullah Gülen) and ruin the good name of Turkish president Tayyip Recep Erdogan (pronounced “bloodthirsty dictator” in English). Just because Erdogan has imprisoned and tortured thousands, murdered Kurdish politicians, arrested journalists, perverted the judiciary, and declared opposition parties “terrorist organizations,” just because he has brought on a horrific terrorist attack at the airport in Istanbul, just because he sued a German comedian for calling him a goat sodomizer, and just because a rolling peloton of foreigners would be a perfect target for a terrorist attack doesn’t mean that cyclists shouldn’t support this great race.
Especially if you’re Armenian.
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Cycling in the South Bay 
Seriously too bad. The race is “incredibly” beautiful as it runs down the Aegean Sea. Historic villages and “incredible” coastline… real history, not fake. A real bummer. Bloodthirsty dictators are “incredible” buzz killers.
Too bad they won’t be racing for the glory of a despot!
Man, those are some legit teams too. Since I spent 45 seconds getting them translated, I won’t give them up for free. Now as far as Erdogan goes, the one (and probably only) thing that the Euros are thankful for, is that he has taken in roughly 3.5 million refugees from his neighbors. Still don’t quite get why they don’t want to go to other (much richer) Middle Eastern countries right next to them. I understand not all Muslims get along either, but why do they so desperately want to go to non-muslim countries? Do you have a lay-men’s explanation, Meister?
$
Whatta punchline!!
Smiley face!
I’m so depressed, I almost didn’t comment, but I thought I should for the Armenias.
You mean for the Armenian massacre that never happened. Get your alternative facts straight.
Alt-auto correct. My facts are the bestist bigliest facts. They just innherited the worst facts in a the biggest mess facts have ever been in.
I inherited bad facts, too. Thanks, Obama.
Impressively subtle, but I have it good authority that Erdogan (I’ll take it one step lower and call him a baby goat sodomizer), who reads this blog religiously, may be able see through the sarcasm.
Sarcastic? Moi?
Come on Wanky, you should go! You’d probably win the 50+ leaky prostrate class. I hear that bullets flying overhead and roadside bombs are enough to make you pedal harder than ever.
I’m researching a pro license purchase and air tickets as we speak.
We see a few of the UCI’s long-running will-they-won’t-they reforms in action in Turkey as well as how weak the sport’s business model really is.
I’m not sure what it is the UCI committee members are telling themselves when two announced WT races vanish from the year’s announced calendar. Sure, one of them is in a country with rapidly declining safety and plurality, but yeah…
UCI committee members are telling themselves that the moon is made of green cheese.