March 26, 2017 § 18 Comments
The best way to win the Donut Ride is to wait until a big race that attracts all the hitters. To quote Derek the Destroyer’s “First Maxim for Winning”: Your results are predetermined by who shows up.
The San Dimas Stage Robbery had started on Friday, and the usual complement of legit racers was, quite literally, off to the races. Leaky and creaky, I never have a chance to make it first to the top of the radar domes, but today, well, there was at least a chance.
At the bottom of the Switchbacks the group of twelve riders broke apart and by the first turn it was me, Tasker, Roberto, and Marco C., with Marco sitting on the front and churning out the watts. I sat on his wheel for a bit but he’s been in training and is now tipping the scales at 118, a weight that makes Strava Junior look like a fatty.
I dropped back to suck wheel behind Roberto while Tasker had the unenviable task of sitting behind the wraith. Marco dragged us all the way to the college, where Roberto pulled off, and then Marco dragged us all the way to the domes. I planned a sneak attack at the end to punish him for doing all the work, but well before my treachery he simply accelerated and pedaled away from us.
I surged by Tasker and elbowed him into the cones to keep him from getting fake second in our fake race.
Marco is fast and tough and has been around forever, one of the mainstays of the South Bay, but now that he’s on the air and water diet he’s simply leaving behind those of us who enjoy chocolate and donuts (not to mention chocolate donuts). Which got me to thinking about peak performance vs. mediocrity.
There are a lot of superlative riders in the South Bay, but many of them peak and valley. The peaks don’t usually last for long, a season is rare, two seasons Bachmann’s warbler rare … and the valleys can go on for years. In fact, some riders hit an extended peak and you never hear from them again.
On the other hand, there is a whole gaggle of hackers who never hit peak anything. As I like to say, my athletic profile is “slightly better than half-assed.” We mediocre riders never peak, but we never valley, either. Where we were last week is pretty much where we’ll be next week.
I’ve wondered why peak performance riding is so often correlated with extended disappearances. Part of it is the difficulty of achieving “race weight.” The other part is the awful horrible terribleness of FTP workouts, metering your farts on TrainingPeaks, and of course the bane of the non-insane, intervals. It takes so much to be your best. The other other part is that once you enjoy the rarefied air of putting everyone to the sword, it sucks to droop to the back of the bus, hanging on for dear life at the mercy of whoever the latest Peak Performance Flavor of the Month happens to be.
It’s why Eddy Merckx doesn’t fly over from Belgium every Tuesday for Telo, I guess. In his (limited) worldview, competing in our local training crit isn’t as impressive as winning five Tours and setting an hour record.
But to be your most mediocre? That takes considerably less than your best and it leaves room for chocolate donuts. It’s damned hard to do 3 x 20s, whereas it’s darned easy to ride with Gussy and have a croissant … and which person do you think is smiling at the end of the ride? Hint: It’s not the guy who just eked out another .01 w/kg and is going home to a dinner of one boiled egg and a sprig of raw kale.
Put another way, mediocrity is a long-haul tool; excellence is a roman candle. Both have their place, and the life of the ascetic sure looks enviable when it’s dragging you around with your tongue in the spokes.
But man, that chocolate donut …
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It’s all perspective Wankie! Remember how EZ it is to go from hero to zero in a nano second. And, fighting to rejoin mediocrity can be the Holy Grail (at least for me)… The cool thing is, on any given day you can choose: Choco donuts or kale rides. In the end, they’re both good choices.
What about … choco donut kale?
I think they sell that at wholefoods.
way to throw Gus under the donut
Pretty sure he won’t complain. Nor will I. Unless it’s a kale donut, in which case he and I will have to go bum a Pop-Tart off Shirtless Keith.
i need to make a donut run soon… bring the crew up
We’ll be here.
Mediocrity is not only a long haul but the slippery slope to a dirt nap. Might as well have a donut. Same end game.
Yep. Another donut, please. Hold the kale.
World Famous Montrose and World Famous Rose Bowl, where mediocrity lives.
Best thing about large group rides: 20-wins-a-season sprinters can’t climb.
Bye-bye Mr. Sprinter Dude!
Your results are predetermined by who shows up.
The first axiom of competitive cycling…. without EPO.
Giving up has never been so easy.
I’m noshing on a kale donut from Whole Foods right now. Typical for whole foods, more fat than a bacon grease sandwich and 5x as much, and less good than making it yourself.
But think of the beautiful people there you get to rub shoulders with.
Awesome sauce !!
With a donut, please. Hold the kale.
Let’s go for a short,slow ride & grab a Cronut @ Sea Beans. After I’ll ride a wheelie up the hill a blow massively & you won’t see my smiling,chubby face until the next descent.
… at which time you will, if memory serves, pass me like I’m parked.