I have some friends here in LA, Aaron and Emily, and some friends up in Colorado, Becca and Daniel, who are getting married (not all to each other), and all four of them are cyclists. They’re not only cyclists, they’re exceptional cyclists.
So now seems like a great time to dispense some cycling marriage advice. Because I will have been married for thirty years in a couple of months, and since I’ve been cycling the whole while, I think I have some useful advice to impart that can improve, if not save their cycling marriages. Here are the top ten, suitable for tattooing on a prominent body part.
Rule 1: Don’t marry a cyclist.
Rule 2: If you have to choose between things that will make incredible, amazing, unforgettable, lifelong memories, and things that will help you cook better, choose the latter.
Rule 3: Never fall into component inequity, where, for example, he has SRAM e-tap and she has Shimano 105. What’s good for the gander is good for the goose.
Rule 4: Marriage never gets easier, you just go farther slower, together.
Rule 5: If you want your children to love cycling, refuse to buy them bikes. Until they’re, like, 30.
Rule 6: No matter how deeply it disturbs you, accept your partner’s choice of hydration. Even if it’s grape flavored.
Rule 7: It’s okay if you ride so much together that you’re too tired to have sex. But not the other way around.
Rule 8: Carbon > Mortgage.
Rule 9: If you don’t cycle at least once on your honeymoon, you’re doing it wrong. Very wrong.
Rule 10: You both love bicycling, each other, and coffee. Especially coffee. That’s a recipe for a perfect marriage.
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