Beat the rap

Have you been accused (unfairly!) of cheating? Learn from Chris Froome how to prove you’re innocent!

  1. Deny doing anything wrong. “I haven’t done anything wrong!”
  2. Promise to investigate. “We will get to the bottom of this!”
  3. Express shock. “I have no idea how this happened!”
  4. Delegate to your flak. “We will show through laboratory testing that Chris’s kidneys weren’t working properly that day he won the queen stage and the overall of a grand tour.”
  5. Show empathy. “I understand how this is upsetting to people.”
  6. Appreciate support. “I am so thankful that the other racers have been supportive.”
  7. Spend money. “I’ve hired Killum, Lyan & Cheate to represent me in this matter.”
  8. Talk about due process. “We must respect the system and the process.”
  9. Focus on training. “I’ve done 5,000 km last month and feel great.”
  10. Repeat 1-9 endlessly.

Feel free to add your own …

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6 thoughts on “Beat the rap”

  1. Watching Froome ride is painful. The grinch who stole grand tours. He was hoping he could slide through by taking the Indurain hear no evil, speak no evil, etc. approach. Be the good guy. Problem is he rides for arrogant f–ks like Brailsford who can’t help themselves. The only guy that matters at this point is Sagan. If and when he gets popped it’s all over.

  2. Wow. You missed “blame the press and call it ‘fake news’ if it deviates from your press release in any way.”
    You’re slipping.

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