It hurts so good

When the NPR started last Tuesday, it had all the hallmarks of a beatdown. And it was. Surfer, Frexit, and Dennis lined it out on Vista del Mar, and the pounding continued for the entire ride.

Usually no matter how hot it starts, the ride usually slows down by the second of four laps, but not on Tuesday. Each time it looked like it might bunch up, someone charged to the fore and strung it out again.

At the end, a small group including Justin Williams, Frexit, E.A. Sports, Inc., Rudy, and a couple of other riders pinched off. The chasers chased hard up the golf course but when we hit the orange traffic signal, everyone stopped. This was weird because with the break just a few seconds up and the end so near, orange has never stopped a charging NPR peloton of idiots.

But it did on Tuesday.

I looked around and everyone was panting, glad to put a foot down. I expected there to be anger or frustration at losing the #fakerace, but there wasn’t. Instead, there was a weird sensation, a shared group happiness. People were smiling and chatting as they waited for the light. Did I mention we’d all been on the verge of vomiting for the entire ride? When it changed, we pedaled more or less vigorously the remaining half-mile, and the ride ended.

It puzzled me that I felt so good after such a bitterly hard ride, and it puzzled me even more that everyone else felt so good despite the shellacking. I remarked on it to a friend, who shrugged. “Of course everyone feels good. Didn’t you see how hard they were going?”

“But we got our dicks stomped. We were gassed. And we couldn’t catch the break.”

“But everyone was still happy, right?”

“Yeah, it was so weird.”

“Not weird at all. The harder you ride such that it creates repeated intervals, the bigger the endorphin release.”

“Whaaa?”

“Sure. Moderate exercise doesn’t cause much, if any endorphin release. When you go crazy deep and repeat it over and over, you get swamped with endorphins. That’s why so many of these wankers are literally addicted to the NPR. Sausage is a certified NPR junkie.”

It kind of made sense, now that I thought about it.

“The endorphins are only released during that kind of intensity because your body has to have something to help you cope with the pain. That’s the mechanism.”

“Wow,” I said.

“There’s only one down side to the addicting, incredible flood of incomparable pleasure.”

“What’s that?”

“In order to get the flood you have suffer like the dog you are. And the pain is so bad that most people won’t willingly do it very often. That’s why you see so many formerly fast racers puttering around like brokedown kiddie carts once they hit fifty.”

Sounded crazy, so I googled it, and it’s all true. The Internet never lies.

END

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7 thoughts on “It hurts so good”

    1. Oh, come on! You know that cozy warm feeling as you collapse with your head on the desk ten minutes after you get into the office?

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