The ten stages of Euro smoking

When you get to Austria or Slovakia or wherever, you notice that everyone smokes all the time. There are nominal nonsmoking places, for example, in your hotel room. But outside is free and free to smoke. Here are the stages of Euro smoking for an American tourister.

  1. Curiosity. “Wow, they smoke everywhere all the time. Isn’t that different?”
  2. Denial. “Smoking doesn’t really bother me all that much, actually.”
  3. Advocacy. “I actually kind of sort of a little like the smell a tiny bit maybe.”
  4. Investigation. “I wonder how many people actually smoke here and whether there’s more lung cancer?”
  5. Political correctness. “I suppose it’s not that great but this is Europe and I’m not here to impose my cultural values on people.”
  6. Indifference. “IDGAF if these fucking morons want to poison themselves and their babies.”
  7. Rage. “Quit blowing smoke in my lungs or I will kill you.”
  8. Contempt. “This is why you lost all those wars.”
  9. Resignation. “It’s their continent.”
  10. Emigration. “Thank dog I’m going home tomorrow.”



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8 thoughts on “The ten stages of Euro smoking”

  1. Just dropped by to leave the required comment about getting “smoked” by Damir.

  2. I traveled to Turkey and noted the same thing. Although more people smoke cigarettes in their country, the percent of instances of lung cancer are lower than that of the US. The Turkish cigarettes have less toxins than we have in the states because they are strictly regulated. Turkish tobacco also has less nicotine. So I guess that’s good news for your lungs during your vacation, although I’m not sure if the tobacco regulations are so strict in Europe!

  3. This applies particularly well to many countries in Latin America, most notably Argentina. I think I lost a few days of my life from all the second hand smoke every time I visited.

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