Cuppa joe

A bicycle friend sent this blog rant over. It was a really enjoyable read, unfortunately.

Kind of like I don’t know much about the bread I bake, I don’t know much about the coffee I roast. I buy it in 50-lb. bags and cook it in a frying pan. Where is it sourced? From a tree. What is its flavor profile? It has caffeine and costs a couple bucks per pound.

My coffee friends cringe at my frying pan technique, which leaves some beans seared black and others lightly orange, like Trump. Friends who roast their own coffee on high-end, tabletop roasters shake their head as if to say, “Therapy. Boy needs therapy.” And of course getting the occasional cup at Starbucks marks me as dilettante + imperialist + bourgeois.

And the article was timely, because it wasn’t until last Thursday after the Flog that a rider informed me that a French press was not good.

For decades I’d been, you know, totally satisfied with frudge. But after a few decades using a press, why not splurge and buy one of those pour-over things? As he talked about coffee I realized that I really knew nothing.

Why the ignorance? Why the disdain of knowledge? Why the single-minded dedication to taking the tools of hipsterism and using them to create monstrosities such as bread-whose-baker’s-percentage-I-don’t-know?

The answer is simple and ugly. I’m real fucking cheap.

I’ve never tossed a pan of badly burned beans. I’ve never thrown out a frisbee brick of bread that you have chew like it was raw bison. And a bad cup of coffee? That’s defined as waking up and not having any.

But I am going to splurge on the pour-over filter thing. $43 for the thing, and ten cents a filter for the next hundred days, by which time I’ll still have enough green coffee beans to last me through the apocalypse. That’s the benefit of being old and having grandkids, though. You know how to let loose.

END

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Hard to love coffee and not know anything about it, but then I think about people. Please consider subscribing … Click here and select the “subscribe” link in the upper right-hand corner. Thank you!

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4 thoughts on “Cuppa joe”

  1. J Marvin Campbell

    Oh stop. You had me at cheap. And you can use paper towels instead of those dime filters. They work just fine. Take it from a Campbell, nothing snaps shut tighter than a Scotsmans purse.

  2. I personally love my French Press and the sludge at the bottom of the cup is the best part.

    1. I don’t think either of us is going to make the cover of “Cofficianado” any time soon …

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