Empty chair

Cyclists are the ultimate flakes. They are the absolute world’s best at not showing up. We’ve all been there: Ride scheduled, blood oaths sworn, times reconfirmed, and … no one shows.

You curse. You howl. You lie to yourself that they’ll come in “five more minutes.” But they never do. How could they do this to you? Easy: Their bed is cozier than your ride.

This kind of flakery doesn’t happen by chance. It takes practice. Lots of practice. If you are getting started in cycling, here are some of the tell-tale signs alerting you that the speaker is absolutely, certainly, put-your-money-on-it going to flake:

  1. “I’ll be there for sure.”
  2. “If I can’t make it I’ll text you the night before.”
  3. “Sounds like a hard ride. I can’t wait.”
  4. “Can you set up the ride?”
  5. “Really looking forward to riding with you.”
  6. “That’s early but should be no problem.”
  7. “I get up every day at 4:30 anyway.”
  8. “I like riding early so I can get the ride out of the way and still have the day left to do other stuff.”
  9. “I prefer riding in small groups.”
  10. “I’m totally down for a chill convo ride.”



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