Apology from the heart

I did it. I am sorry.

Sorry, honey. I really am.

Sorry, mom. I couldn’t control myself.

Sorry, dad. I know you had higher hopes for your son, one who would have discipline and taste.

Sorry, children. I raised you to be better than I was able to be. May you never wear this badge of dishonor yourselves.

Sorry, grandchildren, living and unborn. This a shame you will carry forever. Hide it well.

Sorry, dearest friends. You trusted me. I betrayed you. You will never look at me the same way again.

Sorry, cycling buddies. You thought I stood for something bigger. I didn’t. I fell in with a bad, bad crowd.

Sorry, blog subscribers. You thought you were supporting decency, goodness, and truth. You weren’t. You were supporting a sham.

Sorry, Big Orange. You embraced me. I fouled your nest with the opposite of Orange.

Sorry, Velo Club La Grange. You welcomed me as a member. I have besmirched your true-blue reputation forever.

Sorry, in-laws. You never fully trusted me. You were right. The minute you turned your back, I slithered into something horrible.

Sorry, on-line Chinese teachers. You believed I was dedicated and dependable. I was fickle. Just another faking poser.

I did this thing for which there is no atonement, I ventured to a dark place from which there is no return. I have no one to blame but myself. Henceforth when I look in the mirror I will only see the horror.

Why horror? Because I did it, with intent and full knowledge, knowing that my life would never again be the same and not caring about those who had loved and trusted me to be better. Yes, I did it. I bought Rapha.


51 thoughts on “Apology from the heart”

  1. Dr. Sherri Foxworthy

    Holy Dog…I was getting ready to put on my GOOD drawers and race over to The Davidson Compound and read you scripture! #hooklineandsinker

  2. I won’t unsubscribe, because I feel your pain. The new Rodeo Adventure Labs kits are Rapha, and they were 6 months late. Sometimes you just have to hold your nose and vote; or pull it on. I have found out that Rapha wearers have a really long memory about the crap you’ve given them.

    1. The real culprit was Pearl Izumi, who has my favorite tights, but they were sold out in my size, and Rapha sale, and and and and …

  3. I hope you bought it on SALE. I have oodles of wonderful Rapha stuff all of it bought on sale and I love it. Technical, zippered key pockets, reflective visibility stripes, merino wool blends, everything but the tattoos.

    1. Yes, #onsale. I have oodles of nothing, but somehow the vest, tights, and jacket make me feel like a .000001% who has just pillaged a continent.

  4. You mean you found the one garment in the Rapha sale that fits?

    (Lucky bastard…)

  5. They have a 90-day return policy. I’m at day 89 and the bag is on the front seat of the car. I swear I’ll get this done today. I swear.

    1. I have plenty of Eliel, and StageOne, and Forte, and even an Origin. I’m an equal opportunity clothing slut.

    1. Depends on my mood. It used to be overpriced elitist garbage that ruined cycling and America. Now it is quality merchandise at a reasonable price that works for me. See?

  6. OMG!!! What’s next? Are you going to start wearing an old LIVESTRONG bracelet? I see some of them are still on EBAY. LMAO!!

    1. My taint was turned into an asphalt landing strip back in the 80’s. I promise I bought it because my fave Pear Izumi tights was all sold out.

  7. Oh FFS now we are going to have to hear you refer to your vest as a “gilet” and your bottles as “bidons.” This is ‘Murica, and pretty soon we’ll all be walled in nice and cozy and unable to escape. #MAGA

    1. I always thought “bespoke” was a verb.

      “He bespoke some shit to my friends, and we whupped his ass.”

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