Bike shit I have wasted money on

July 10, 2019 § 30 Comments


  1. Power meter. All it told me what was I already knew: YOU SUCK.
  2. Deep dish wheels. Deep dish belongs on pizza. Period.
  3. Anything ‘cross. Everything ‘cross. Cross is my personality, not my bike.
  4. Masters race entry fees. Subsidizing other people’s drug problems? I don’t think so.
  5. GoPro. I am not a pro. I can barely go. So, no.
  6. The Stravver premium subscription. Kidding. Even I’m not that lame.
  7. Turbotrainer. I had one of those in 1984. Still haven’t recovered from the extensive brain damage.
  8. Skinsuits. I already have skin. Suits I wear to court. Ergo, bad combo, like “fun interval.” Nup. Nah. Nuh-nuh. Nopey nope nope.
  9. Track bike. Do road or do track, doing both is like cross dressing. It only impresses a few weird people.
  10. Aero bar extenders. When you have the form of a pig hunching a greased football, them bar extenders don’t mean squat.



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