This morning I didn’t get up at 4:00. After not getting up, I didn’t have coffee or breakfast, and after not doing that I didn’t wipe down my frame and chain.
I put on zero Wend chain wax and didn’t put on my sparkly white South Bay Cycling wanky socks. I didn’t refill my water bottle or pack a baggie with raisins and almonds and didn’t pull on my new Bahati kit; nor did I put on glasses and gloves.
I didn’t not put on a helmet, either, and all my sunscreen stayed in the bottle.
Once all that was not done, I didn’t affix my headlight and three taillights, didn’t switch them on, didn’t clack down the stairs and wake up the neighbors, and didn’t roll down Silver Spur at 45 mph, where I didn’t carefully avoid the pothole near the speed limit sign by the high school.
The ride started but I didn’t, and I didn’t say hello to anyone, or attack, or get dropped on the Switchbacks. I wasn’t late for breakfast with the grandkids, either, and I didn’t have any mid-meal howler leg cramps.
I wasn’t wrecked the rest of the day and didn’t nap at noon. For two hours.
I was conversational all day and I didn’t yawn every third word; nothing I said was related to the morning ride or the antics thereon. Later in the day I didn’t check out my ride on the Stravver that I don’t have, and I posted no photos on Facebag of the ride I didn’t do.
It wasn’t a perfect day.