This morning I didn’t get up at 4:00. After not getting up, I didn’t have coffee or breakfast, and after not doing that I didn’t wipe down my frame and chain.

I put on zero Wend chain wax and didn’t put on my sparkly white South Bay Cycling wanky socks. I didn’t refill my water bottle or pack a baggie with raisins and almonds and didn’t pull on my new Bahati kit; nor did I put on glasses and gloves.

I didn’t not put on a helmet, either, and all my sunscreen stayed in the bottle.

Once all that was not done, I didn’t affix my headlight and three taillights, didn’t switch them on, didn’t clack down the stairs and wake up the neighbors, and didn’t roll down Silver Spur at 45 mph, where I didn’t carefully avoid the pothole near the speed limit sign by the high school.

The ride started but I didn’t, and I didn’t say hello to anyone, or attack, or get dropped on the Switchbacks. I wasn’t late for breakfast with the grandkids, either, and I didn’t have any mid-meal howler leg cramps.

I wasn’t wrecked the rest of the day and didn’t nap at noon. For two hours.

I was conversational all day and I didn’t yawn every third word; nothing I said was related to the morning ride or the antics thereon. Later in the day I didn’t check out my ride on the Stravver that I don’t have, and I posted no photos on Facebag of the ride I didn’t do.

It wasn’t a perfect day.


8 thoughts on “Non-ride”

  1. Me too! For some unfathomable reason I slept until 7:30 instead of 3:30 last few days, so I haven’t ridden since Tuesday and I’m not even sorry…

  2. Not only did I not get up at 4:55 to ride today, but I didn’t get up 3:30 to piss, and there by lie in bed for for an hour and 25 minutes cursing not falling back to sleep. I slept in till 6:15. Yay!

  3. After the blog post the other day about cancelling subscriptions to your blog, I decided to cancel my non-subscription. About time I supported the successor to Steve Tilford (RIP).

    Today I won’t ride. I’ll be hanging out my 8 month old son while his mom is traveling for work. Same for tomorrow. Dog bless not riding!

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