That little bitch that fucking little bitch I had that for five years goddammit I’m going to get that back oh yeah you think you’re so fucking fast let’s take a look and see what yours are shit she added seven more last week I think that one on PVDN I can get that one back fuck that little bitch she tried for that 18 times that little bitch she took my one by the golf course at 3:00 AM who does that what a little cheater so she wouldn’t have any traffic coming into the blind turn 18 times to get that one what is with her why is she targeting me I earned every one of those and she’s just fucking cherrypicking what the fuck look at that let me check the flyby just what I fucking thought she did it drafting off Randy and Sam that doesn’t even fucking count well I hope you’re planning on getting a refill of your Oxycontin this weekend you little bitch because I’m taking that one on La Cuesta you worked so hard to get yeah it took you 27 tries you know how long it took me to get that one on VdM I wasn’t even trying I fucking didn’t even know I was going for it that’s how I got all of mine little fucking bitch who does she think she is planning out every fucking ride like it’s the Tour de France and using the monitor on her Garmin to tell her just exactly how fast she needs to go to get it fuck you I don’t even use mine I just run it on my phone which I can’t even see and when I get back they all just ping in that’s how I get mine not plotting every single yard and figuring out the wind like a fucking sailor crossing the Pacific what a little bitch oh look at this one back from 2017 I bet she was doping then you little doper bitch yeah right like she’s gonna get the flag sprint wtf she was drafting behind a car I fucking know it so lame well I’m not going to give her the satisfaction of thinking I care she can have it fuck her but I’m going to take her one over off by the Cove climb she fucking loves that one she thinks she owns it well guess what honey you’re gonna get so many uh-ohs tomorrow that you’ll think you’re in kindergarten fuck how did she get that one goddammit that’s fucking legit so the fuck what if I didn’t have a job or kids and my husband made a million bucks a year and all I had to do was sit around and train like a fucking pro I’d have so many she’d be lucky to have the one from her driveway to her front door that little bitch she’s going to try and get my one on Paseo look oh no you don’t you little bitch she’s gone for that one ten times just last week she is fucking going after me oh please don’t fucking take that one I had sit on Frenchboy’s wheel for five minutes to get that yeah you won’t it’s safe fuck I don’t even know why I do this it’s so stupid I’m just doing it for fun this means nothing to me but it’s her whole fucking life why can’t she fucking relax?


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10 thoughts on “Uh-oh!”

  1. The only way I ever had a KOM was by being a really early adopter of the Strava. And making most of the segments. I couldn’t get them in a car now, so I’m over it.

  2. I created one in Austin back in the day- on Old San Antone Rd heading towards Beeyooda. “The Selection” I called it…a nice 2% drag for around 800 meters from Twin Creek to the crest around the blue Don’t Litter sign…funny how it’s almost 2x faster now than in 2013…fast cheeruns in speedsuits I reckn…

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