It is finally here. Took a dang long enough time, fer fuggsake. Yep, the revolution. The bike revolution. Brought to you courtesy of the covids.
#sadface news for #bikehaters: Millions of people in the USA are now taking to the streets on their bicycles, and most of them are new converts, and a whole bunch of them are never going back to the old way.
I mean, there is this story in the NY Times, doing everything it can to make it sound like the lid hasn’t been blown off the shitter. But in between their desperation to make it sound like this is a one-off thing, they cram in all these noisy facts. Most bike sales ever. Can’t keep low-end anything in stock. People lined up around the block. No end in sight.
And here’s what they don’t say: Bike shop employees working themselves to the bone and not even making a dent in the demand for service, products, and repairs. Bike shop owners making something that is a unicorn in the bike shop biz, i.e. a “profit.”
They don’t say this, either: “People are going batshit crazy as they discover the joy, freedom, satisfaction, thrill, happiness, empowerment, hormone flood, jacked up libido, weight loss, Vitamin D shower, disappearance of niggling aches and pains, sound night’s sleep, chubbier wallet, rosy pallor, and life control that comes with swapping out buses/subways/cars/Uber for a bicycle.
I don’t blame them for not saying any of that. If they did, they’d be delivering a steel-toed kick to the groin of the zillion-dollar industries that make up anti-depressants, psych therapy, #socmed, food supplements, chiropractic/massage/acupuncture, sleeping pills, payday loans/credit cards, botox, and the economic leech-system built around cars. Who’d advertise with them if they called out all those folks, for dog’s sake?
Anyway, for people who are still sitting around waiting for things to “get back to normal,” I can only suggest, politely, that you have met the future, and it is a bike.
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