Wankmeister cycling clinic #26: Winter training
Dear Wankmeister, I am hoping to get a pro contract next year and want to start the season strong, without losing fitness over the cold months. I live in Los …
Dear Wankmeister
Wankmeister cycling clinic #19: Ride stronger now!
Dear Wankmeister: I have noticed that on big group rides like the Donut, I’m not nearly as fast as most of the others, even though my coach tells me I’m …
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Wankmeister cycling clinic #16: Race strategy
Dear Wankmeister: I was force-upgraded to Cat 2 just as I was on the cusp of the greatest victory and accomplishment and achievement of my life, yes, of course I’m …
Wankmeister cycling clinic #15: Secret training
Dear Wankmeister: Everybody is getting fitter and faster, but when I ask them what they’re doing, they say, “Nothing,” or “Just chilling with base miles,” or “Taking time off the …
Wankmeister cycling clinic #13: How to crash properly
Dear Wankmeister: I recently, as in “today,” crashed while riding through Portuguese Bend. Several of my riding buddies said that I did great because I didn’t break anything or get …
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It’s so daaaaaaaaaangerous!
It finally happened. A frightened and outraged participant called out the New Pier Ride for its reckless, dangerous, traffic-law-violating, scofflaw ways. It appears that as the pack was flying down …
Wankmeister cycling clinic #12: Wazzup with Lance?
Dear Wankmeister: I’m not a cycling fan because it’s so boring. Riding bicycles? For a living? But I read that Lance Armstrong got busted for doping even though he passed …
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Where do I lodge my official protest?
Dear Wankmeister: I want to lodge a protest against guys who win a bunch of crits, especially that Charon dude. He sits in until the end and out-sprints everybody. What …
Grudging admiration
Dear Wankmeister: You were kind of off again on that Peraud dude. Looks like he just flat out sucks. But sheesh, you were spot on with Humpty Ugly and your …
Wrong again!
Dear Wankmeister: Well, anudder day, anudder wrong predictions. You don know shit about wielrenner. You say Sagan a fuck no, Sagan win. You say Peraud gonna winner, dat fuk a …