Cycling in the South Bay

Dear Wankmeister:

Well, anudder day, anudder wrong predictions. You don know shit about wielrenner. You say Sagan a fuck no, Sagan win. You say Peraud gonna winner, dat fuk a loser. You say Hutarovich gonna seconder, dat fuk a hunnerd durdy-sixer. You gonna shoulda toss a computer inna dumpster and shut up fuk mouth.

Scornfully,
Pleghmy van Flandria

Dear Phleghmy,

Dude, I was so on target. You just didn’t “get it.” Are you related to Mr. Really Smart, the douchebag who commented on yesterday’s masterpiece? You sure sound like it.

I told Saggs yesterday (and I quote) “Don’t even fucking think about it.” This referred to his lame Fabs wheelsuck from Stage 2. I wasn’t forbidding him from winning. In fact, in a reverse psychological way I was actually encouraging him to win, which he did. So I not only got it right, I’m entitled to at least half of his winnings. So fuck you for that.

Peraud didn’t win, but he almost won, which is pretty much the same thing. He got 37th. When’s the last time you got 37th in a Tour stage, asshole? Fucking never, that’s when.

Hutarovich didn’t get second overall, but he got second after the dude who was the first person to place #135. So fuck you for that, too.

We can ignore all that crap, though. The money prediction was that Mullet would fuck up and act like a wanker. And you know what? He did!!! Like an idiot, he got caught up behind a crash and finished :49 down on the winning group. Now you’re like, “So vat bout dat? He’s a still a seconder overall and he’s aheader of dat Cadel. Don give no cheese fart bout dat.”

Of course, you’re wrong again, because it shows that when the chips are down, Mullet’ll act like a noob and crash out, or get all nervous and do something dumb. You watch. This was the Klutz Overture to what promises to be a Brad Dorkington Symphony.

Psychically,
Wankmeister

PS: Notice how perfectly I predicted Horseface and Humpty Ugly? 153rd and 38th, respectively. Damn, I’m good.